Today, I watched a video, Facebook Parenting: for the troubled teen, that really bugged me. I have swum in overwhelm from the comments supporting the actions in the video, so I thought I’d blog about it. If you haven’t watched the video and don’t want me to “ruin it” for you I’d suggest you go watch it now because I’m going to give an overview. To start of a dad introduces himself and then his daughter, who is not in the video, and tells the audience why he was there: to teach his daughter, and her friends, a lesson after she posted a very disrespectful post about her parents via F@cebo0k. He then continues on to read the post from his daughter and is pretty emotional about it {understandable}. After reading the letter he, very negatively, reprimands and demands respect of his daughter via video, which is then uploaded and goes viral. In the video he talked of his youth. About how when he was 16 he went to college, had multiple jobs, moved out of the house, was a volunteer firefighter, all while going to school. He talks about how disappointed he is and how she is now grounded for years to come, etc. At the end of the video he puts 7 rounds{shots}  in her laptop and tells her that in a few years, when she is un-grounded, she can work for her own stuff. Okay, now that I’m done focusing on him for a moment, let me focus on the daughter. I, personally, do not know her or anything about her, other than what the dad disclosed. In my opinion, the post she posted  has some vulgar language and is very disrespectful. But it’s so much more than that. It’s almost as if it’s a plea. Don’t get me wrong, plea or not I don’t think it was okay, however, I do believe it was much more than a nasty post. She wrote the post and blocked it from her family and church family, to keep them from knowing. I think though that at some level, conscious or not, she was reaching out to them. She knew that they would find it and she wanted that. Not to hurt them, but so they would finally hear her. I do believe that she needed some form of intervention but I do not believe that shaming her and making it viral was the way to do it, nor do I believe that shooting a laptop will solve anything. We live in a world of technology…

Now that I have done an overview, from my perspective, let me tell you what’s bugging me. It bugs me that there are comments constantly coming in supporting the father. This video has reached over 20,000,000 views and of those views over 1/11 th’s {glance estimation} like the video. Comments are pouring in, literally too fast to keep up, telling people who think this man was wrong that they should move to another country or grow up, etc. It’s very discouraging. The one comment, that came in while I was watching it, that stood out to me was this: put a mattress on the floor, give her five changes of clothes for school (one for each day), and let her earn herself the right to be part of the family. Families are a privilege and everybody has the responsibility to earn the right to be a part of one. Maybe that’s the part that’s bugging me the most; that this world has the mentality that family is not a right but a privilege. Well, pardon me, but if family was a privilege there would be a lot fewer children with them and the world would have fallen apart. If it were a privilege, whoever created us would have created us independently from the time we were born. I have been without a family for the majority of my life and when I did have a family it was a drug addicted, abusive one. If it is a privilege to have a family, then that says that I am doing something wrong. I can’t get past that. Saying that family is a privilege is blaming every single orphan and foster child for their loss, for their abandonment, for their lack of family. That’s not right. I believe that everyone in the family has a role to fulfill, none of which include earning the right to be a part of it. Back to the video…Like I said before, I don’t believe what the girl did was right. It was rude, disrespectful and called for some major intervention. I also don’t believe what the dad did was right. He too was rude, disrespectful and needed some major intervention. You can’t teach someone through shame, which is what he was trying to do. Shame only throws people into a state of fear which then creates resistance in relationships. What I believe would have been a more appropriate intervention would have been to talk with his daughter. I believe that he should have removed the computer and other electronic devices from her possession with the intent of helping her, not shaming her. He could have simply stated that they felt that she could not handle being on social networking and using electronics, therefore, they were going to hold the items until they felt she could be more responsible. He scooped down to her level with low blows. Another thing, she is a teenager…it happens. I have, regretfully, done it…not to that extent but I have. I read posts like that all the time. I don’t believe they are okay, nor do I think they are acceptable…but the action taken to remove that type of behavior, I do believe, would be a lot different. Maybe I’m just different…but it saddens me to see so many people are so quick to give this dad, “DAD OF THE YEAR” award…because frankly, it really disturbed me to watch the interaction. It upset me beyond words. I just don’t get this world…and it really saddens me.

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