*WARNING: this post will contain a present rant to the health feild. I encourage you to stop reading if you get upset easily or if you are all hunky dory with the health field. Your call*

Okay, so to start off, I’m annoyed. Obviously. I am sick, literally. My body is starting to give out on me and it seems that no one believes me, and the ones who do don’t know what to do. I haven’t been able to eat for almost 4 weeks. FOUR weeks, people. There is nothing okay with that…not one single thing. Well, I suppose other than the fact that my body is like the hulk because it’s lasted this long. Anyway, back to the rant. So, I haven’t been able to keep any food down for four weeks–I’ve lost a lot of weight. If I weren’t an undercover, alias blogger I’d upload a then and now picture. Seriously, I could be on one of those dumb weight loss commercials where they lose 35 pounds in 5 weeks. I’m pretty sure I’m headed that way. Two weeks ago I went to the Dr. and he didn’t do anything. He gave me some stuff for nausea, anxiety, and took some blood for  thyroid test–which came back fine–and sent me on my merry way. I couldn’t keep the anxiety stuff down because it was solid and my body pretty much hates anything solid, at the moment. I’ve eaten. Oh. believe me, I’ve eaten. I’ve tried everything: chicken broth, light soup, Big Mac, Taco B, pretzels, juice. Nothing of nutritional value stays down, or in. It’s frustrating. So, I’ve done what all normal people would do and I went to a different doctor. She is my regular, non-traditional Dr. She actually understood. The sad part was, her greeting was a shock at my weight loss. She suggested I do MORE therapy. She believes, as do I, that this is being caused by an underlying emotional stress that is waiting to be dealt with. I’ve been waiting to just dive in for a while now but my current therapist hasn’t wanted to overwhelm and freak out my system, understandably so. However, we are at a point now where my body is already freaking out, so why not. So, with her advice I settle in and allow it to sink. I went out with Bailey and her family tonight for a going away dinner. I had potato soup, it’s white. About a half hour after getting home, my dinner decided to do a re-entry. Whatever, I’m used to it by now. But really, its annoying. I thought I was done up-chucking and then I start all over again. This time it’s blood, or at least I would assume so seeing how my soup was white and I’m throwing up Burgundy. After much coaxing, I decided it was best to go into the ER. Mind you, I’m not a wealthy person…in fact, financially I am not able to go to the Dr. due to prices and stuff. So I go and lo and behold they send me home. Nothing is wrong. They did a urine test and drew some blood and because I had eaten four hours earlier and there were no kenotes in my blood, I’m fine. There is no need to worry about the not being able to keep anything down for three weeks, throwing up blood, and dropping from a 5 to a 0, and the 0 being loose, in 3 weeks. Nothing. Why would anyone worry about that, really! It just baffles me. I was upset. I kinda feel bad for the Dr, I kind of ripped her a new one. She said she has nothing to be concerned about because there wasn’t enough blood for the stomach to actually absorb it, gave me a recommendation for an intestinal Dr, and said that as long as I keep drinking water I’ll be okay. Seriously!?! If I were a Dr and a person came in, in my situation, I would be a bit concerned. But, what do I know, I’m not a Dr. The frustrating thing is that I know it’s not my digestive tract…we just did tests not even a month ago. I told the nurse this and her response, “well, you can go back and see your Dr, or whatever she is, but you came here to see me and get my opinion and this is what I’m giving you. I don’t see a need to admit you because your tests came back fine.” WHATEVER! I’m so tired of throwing up, I just want to eat. I’m tired of my family not taking action and supporting me because they think that I’m using this to control things. I’m tired of going to people for help and being turned away because, “it’s not really that big of a deal”! One thing I do know is that my body is strong. It has held me through so many thing, but how much more can the poor thing handle. I think that’s why a lot of the Dr’s are turning me away–because people with “normal” bodies would be admitted already. 5 pant sizes in 3 weeks…come on people, there is just NOTHING okay with that.  I’m ready for a break. I’m tired.

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