I can’t really decide between writing about 9/11 or about being different, so I’ll write about both.

I know that 9/11 gets a lot of publicity and that by the end of the day a lot of people get tired of hearing about it but that’s okay, I’m going to write about it anyway. Like most people who were old enough to remember, I remember where I was on 9/11 and I remember the devastation that the US was quickly submerged in. I remember teachers crying and kids trying to grasp the sorrow and pain that was surrounding them, without any clear idea of what was really going on. I was in 5th grade, it was only a month and 11 days after my dad passed away, and though it was a tragic event it brought a temporary safety for my siblings and I. Because of 9/11, our lives weren’t so focused on my dad dying and the hurt that came from it. I finally had a break from being a toy, for the most part. I feel a little selfish for thinking this way, for remember this time as  more of a safety net than a tragedy, but as a 10-year-old child who was used as a toy…any chance of safety is welcomed. It saddens me, but it is what it is and I do wish those who have lost loved ones in and because of the 9/11 tragedy well.

If you know me, you know that I’m not very normal in the worlds eyes. I don’t think or really act like typical 21 year-old’s. I’m both ahead and behind socially and emotionally. I’m not really into the things that most 21 year old’s are. I tend to prefer either way older people or way younger people. Honestly, I just am weird. Sometimes being different is hard though. It’s not that I don’t like being different because I really don’t mind it, usually. Sometimes it really hits me, though, and I do wish I could be more normal, or typical, and fit in a little better with the people my age. I don’t date, in fact dating is the last thing on my mind. I don’t even feel an attraction to people in that way. I was triggered a bit today when a boy, who has a MAJOR crush on me, brought me a “treat” and all I could think is how abnormal it is for me to not even have the desire to like someone. I am one of the few people left from my graduating class who isn’t either dating, engaged, or married. It makes me feel pretty behind knowing that even just dating is FAR from where I’m even close to being. It’s a double-edged sword that can only be dulled with acceptance. Acceptance in all that you once wished for but know you’re better off without.

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