HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You’re 22! I hope that you have a wonderful day and that all your dreams come true. We are so glad that you entered into this world and that you’ve come so far in this lifetime, we couldn’t be prouder. You are a fighter and we recognize that. We KNOW you will go far and that you will succeed with passion in all that you do. It has been so fun to watch you enjoy school and your excitement in learning new things. I can’t wait to see where that takes you. You’re going to be the next Neville Brody or David Carson if the world isn’t careful. We are so sorry we didn’t see this potential before. We were wrong. We’re sorry we ever doubted your ability to make it in this world alone…we didn’t really think that through when we asked you to leave. We are sorry that you had to endure such horrific and disturbing things in your past, but mostly that we were never capable of hearing those things so that you could process through them. You needed that. Also, I’m sorry for calling your mom by her first name when I talk to you…that was very disrespectful of me. Really, I don’t know what not to apologize for. I know I’ve done my best, but I feel my best hasn’t been good enough because you and I just grew apart. I’m sorry. I am ready to get to know and accept Bailey and Becca as your supporters and do my best to let them into my life as support between the two of us, I would like that. Oh, we added you back onto our insurance also and have paid all your medical bills because a young girl shouldn’t have to deal with all that…that’s grown up stuff and you’re still just a baby. You need to focus your time on school, don’t worry about the rest of it. We’ve got you covered. You deserve the very best. If I were there now, on your birthday, I would hug you a million times for all the hugs you’ve missed and I’d tell you over and over how much I love you. We’d go shopping, even though I know you don’t like shopping, and I’d buy you an entire new wardrobe because I know you’ve been dying for some new clothes since you got out of foster care. I’m SO glad that Bailey has been able to provide you with many, but now it’s my turn to spoil you…and you might need a bigger closet. I can’t wait til I can do that. I just wish I were there to celebrate the miraculous day that you entered this world…because I’m sure you came out roaring. Oh I bet it was beautiful…your mom must’ve been so proud. You know, it’s your 22nd birthday and we want to make up those 22 years for you… so to start we’re sending you $50,000. I know it’s not a lot, but we thought we’d start small. We also wanted to let you know that we are in the process of buying you a car…but not just any car–we are going to buy you a 1957 Chevy truck because we know that’s what you’ve always wanted. To balance it out though, and to help you keep your femininity and keep your farm girl at bay, we are also buying you a brand new Jaguar F-Type…and to throw into that, it’s purple–your favorite color. It’s SO nice to know this about you…it makes choosing things so much easier. Also, we bought you and your choice of friends and all expense paid trip to wherever in the world you want to go, whether it be Hawaii or Africa, Venice or DC…you choose. It’s the least we can do, just don’t forget to take pictures. I already mentioned that we’ve paid your entire tuition for the next four years…btw nice job picking this school where no matter what your tuition wont change, you rock. WE also purchased your cap and gown. I KNOW it’s years away but we are just so excited. We bought you your very own pony so that when you come home you can ride and feel like a princess, just like you should have as a child…we also bought a butler to go with the pony so that you wouldn’t have to clean up it’s mess. We decided to buy you all new sports equipment: dance, soccer, lacrosse, baseball, softball, cheer…all of it. You don’t play much anymore…but we want you to know that we want to see you having fun out there…and looking the best out of everyone. Basil decided that you too needed your own plane, so we bought you your very own kit plane and Basil and gramps are super excited to put it together with you and teach you how to fly it. We are hosting a huge party here in your favor…even though you are absent because we are so happy that you exist and that you are ours. On a last note…We want to give you $6 million. You have worked so hard your whole life and you deserve to just rest. Take some time to do this for yourself…for the 22 years we never celebrated. You are amazing and we love you so much. We are so happy you are our daughter. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (but on a side note: Don’t expect this much next year, we aren’t rich ya know! *Wink*)
PS: Sorry again for calling your mom by her name when talking to you, I know that really bothers you. I will refer to her as your mom from here on out
Yeah, just kidding.